you wanna know something weeeeeeird? [ This could be a myriad of things coming from him— so maybe Ben is careful to entertain his question— but here we go. ]
unless it's specifically about exhibitionism and voyeurism wait no never mind
anyway there aren't any ghosts here i've tried no voices no forms or shadows or weird like cries for help that sometimes sound like if the jerry springer show and a rusty blender had a baby
[ that's a lot more than weird. that's a huge deal. that's a huge deal stuffed inside an even huger deal drizzled in gravy that spells the words FUCK YOU DAD. why does Klaus always undersell the most earth-shattering news?? ]
there's alcohol here soooo even the first weeks here, though, i noticed something was weird but i didn't want to assume something and it not be true
anyway trust me the silence is absolute bliss and the privacy that's nice too no victorian creepers invading my personal space
[ Though, he doesn't seem quite enthralled with this development as someone might assume him to be. There's a long pause before he sends another message. ]
i'm wondering if there's a way i could still contact him [ You Know Who. Maybe before the fact he started his three year sobriety journey and got more accustomed to the spirits he'd be more overjoyed, but the lackluster response is still a bit concerning. ]
[ the nuances of his brother can be well hidden. in a way, it's nice to know Ben's still privy to them, by choice and not by the necessity of circumstance. even if he's disappointed by where Klaus ends up by the end of his many messages, he tries to temper it. ]
You're talking about Dave. You don't even know that he's dead.
[ That sentence makes him tense up— tuck in his lips and chew on them. It’s hard for him to think of Dave as anything but dead after what he saw. What he heard. What he experienced. He grinds his teeth together. ]
i was going to try and intervene his enlisting before all of this happened i never told you that though
since im here instead it only makes sense that time went on as it should so he is
[ god, of course that was why he ran off to Dallas. what an unbelievably bad idea. even worse than this one, though the margin isn't as huge as he'd like. ]
Then he's dead. Let him be dead. It's not helping, forcing him into a half life just to steal more time.
[ He knew that messaging Ben about this was a terrible idea, but what can he say. It's a little odd not having him loom around him and judge every bad decision he makes in his life. He's a masochist anyway, let him do what he wants.
He bristles at how flippant Ben is about this, but it shouldn't surprise him anymore. His brother was never one to just sugar coat things. ]
when you have the ability to have some say-so in people's afterlife, those that you really care about, it's hard to just "let them be dead"
why the hell do you think i summoned you right after your funeral? maybe it's cause i'm a selfish prick, that's why, and it isn't easy to say goodbye to the people you love the most when you have some shitty power that can prevent that
[ Someone still thinks it's his fault Ben's a wandering spirit. ]
you wouldn't understand [ Oof. That's harsh, especially when Ben was around to see how happy he was with Dave. ]
[ that's about the response he was expecting, in both tone and length. granted, he's mildly shocked "hypocrite" doesn't get slung at him, and that speaks to where Klaus is coming from: a selfishly-motivated place. tragic and romantic and selfish all the same. Ben can't tell whether it's good or bad that they're having this talk over text rather than face to face.
he can settle just for having it. Klaus didn't have to come to him with this, something his brother will be just as aware of eventually, if he isn't right now. ]
I understand being selfish. Just because I couldn't act on it doesn't mean I didn't feel it.
[ except in the One Big Mondo Way he did act on it but this isn't the time for that. maybe. maybe it is. nah tho. ]
Take it from me - sometimes you just have to hope that the things you want to say to people, they know. And I was there, remember? He knew.
[ Fine. If Klaus doesn't want to hear the constructive comments he could make, he'll get the raw stuff. And he thought Ben wasn't sugarcoating it before. ]
Do you hear yourself? You're talking about him like a fix. A habit you can't kick. You're making all the same excuses.
[ True that. The realization makes his teeth grind. However, he's not as angry as one might expect him to be. ]
don't you dare say anything like that again he's so much more than that
he made me feel a way that no pill on god's green earth could make me feel and i've done it i stayed clean for three years he's someone i can't just do that with
he's the person i loved more than anything a way i didn't realize i could love someone so much
and i know that if i could conjure him here he would like to see me
so i'm going to try
backdated to idk after klaus made his post maybe? | un: carobear
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
( TEXT. ) un: deathpacito | 09/16
[ This could be a myriad of things coming from him— so maybe Ben is careful to entertain his question— but here we go. ]
no subject
As long as it doesn't involve your sex life.
no subject
well
not directly
unless it's specifically about exhibitionism and voyeurism
wait no never mind
anyway
there aren't any ghosts here
i've tried
no voices
no forms or shadows
or weird like cries for help that sometimes sound like if the jerry springer show and a rusty blender had a baby
[ ??? ]
no subject
Are you serious? That's amazing!
You're sure right? You tested it sober?
no subject
oh yeaaaah i've been sober
sober
ish
there's alcohol here soooo
even the first weeks here, though, i noticed something was weird but i didn't want to assume something and it not be true
anyway
trust me the silence is absolute bliss
and the privacy
that's nice too
no victorian creepers invading my personal space
[ Though, he doesn't seem quite enthralled with this development as someone might assume him to be. There's a long pause before he sends another message. ]
i'm wondering if there's a way i could still contact him
[ You Know Who.
Maybe before the fact he started his three year sobriety journey and got more accustomed to the spirits he'd be more overjoyed, but the lackluster response is still a bit concerning. ]
no subject
You're talking about Dave.
You don't even know that he's dead.
no subject
i was going to try and intervene his enlisting before all of this happened
i never told you that though
since im here instead
it only makes sense that time went on as it should
so he is
no subject
Then he's dead. Let him be dead. It's not helping, forcing him into a half life just to steal more time.
no subject
He's a masochist anyway, let him do what he wants.He bristles at how flippant Ben is about this, but it shouldn't surprise him anymore. His brother was never one to just sugar coat things. ]
when you have the ability to have some say-so in people's afterlife, those that you really care about, it's hard to just "let them be dead"
why the hell do you think i summoned you right after your funeral?
maybe it's cause i'm a selfish prick, that's why, and it isn't easy to say goodbye to the people you love the most when you have some shitty power that can prevent that
[ Someone still thinks it's his fault Ben's a wandering spirit. ]
you wouldn't understand
[ Oof. That's harsh, especially when Ben was around to see how happy he was with Dave. ]
no subject
he can settle just for having it. Klaus didn't have to come to him with this, something his brother will be just as aware of eventually, if he isn't right now. ]
I understand being selfish. Just because I couldn't act on it doesn't mean I didn't feel it.
[ except in the One Big Mondo Way he did act on it but this isn't the time for that. maybe. maybe it is. nah tho. ]
Take it from me - sometimes you just have to hope that the things you want to say to people, they know. And I was there, remember? He knew.
no subject
[ He wasn't ready to say goodbye. He had so much to look forward to with Dave. ]
it was the only instance in my life i ever felt happy
happy with myself
happy overall
i just want to feel that again
i'll do anything to feel that again
and don't you dare tell me i'd be able to find that happiness again with someone else
i never felt so strongly about a person before him
no subject
Do you hear yourself?
You're talking about him like a fix. A habit you can't kick. You're making all the same excuses.
no subject
don't you dare say anything like that again
he's so much more than that
he made me feel a way that no pill on god's green earth could make me feel
and i've done it
i stayed clean for three years
he's someone i can't just do that with
he's the person i loved more than anything
a way i didn't realize i could love someone so much
and i know that if i could conjure him here
he would like to see me
so i'm going to try
backdated to idk after klaus made his post maybe? | un: carobear
no subject
How about you?
no subject